Goli No: 24...... Bhandya's marriage .......

Year 2000 ...... Bhandya announced that he is getting married...... Cards were getting printed ..... Bhandya lower middle class maharashtrian boy from lalbaug ...... 200 cards were being printed ... limited invitations..... suddenly pakya commented ....... Arrey... zindagi mein ek baar shadi hota hein ...... dil khol ke sab ko bula ..... Bhandya retorted..... that he wanted to invite the whole world ..... but for Baapu his father ......

Pillai commented...... Arrey aadmi hoja .... kitney din baap se darega .. Teri shaadi hein na .... Bhandya went out with pakya ...... and gave orders for some 3000 cards .... A huge list was drawn out ..... including every body from bhandya's childhood days ........ to all his train friends .... Bhandya had compartment friends ..... train friends ..... and also platform friends ..... Infact pillai suggested why don't you print a handbill .........

Bhandya and pakya negotiated hard with the printer ....... and got a loose handbill kind of invitation card ....... and the invites reached 5000 people .... I gave bhandya a months leave ..... bhandya would go from morning to evening ...... from parel to kasara....... churchgate to bhayander ...... and V.T to Panvel ...... and distributed the so called ...... invitation card ...... to any body he was remotely connected with .......


On the D-day ...... I with pillai .... dhandapani ...... banerjee and others from the office ...... reached the venue ...... the hall looked very small ....... Could hardly accomodate not more than 200 people ..... The wedding ritual was on ...... bhandya looked happy and cheerful ....... Bhandyas father looked tense ...... he was scanning the crowd ....... with every passing second the crowd seemed to swell ........

Pillai took me outside ....... I saw a huge crowd of more than a thousand people standing outside the gate...... on the ground..... outside the hall ...... also on the footpath..... Bhandya's father came out and was scanning the crowd on the ground ....... with suspiscion written all over his face ....... his eyebrows narrowed and with a wet forehead ....... he asked pillai ..... yeh log kaun hein ..... Pillai muttered ..... Tumhara shaadi ka mehman ...... Bhandyas fathered screamed with anger .... aaila ...... amhi tar phakta don shey lokana bulaya ....... pillai muttered.... May be mulgi kadche......

Bhandya's father called bride's father........ Aabha..... ha kai gondhal ahey ....... ha tumcha gondhal nahin na ....... Aabha looked at the crowd ........ hey kay lagna chey pahuney ........ Pillai muttered naheen ........ RTO chi gardi ahey ...... Bhandyas father and Aabha realised gravity of the situation took up strategic possitions on both sides of the entrance and closed the collapsable gates ....... Seing the gate being closed ..... the crowd surged towards the entrance ..... and barged in .....

Bhandyas father and Aabha started quarelling over who invited so many guests ...... And the culprit bhandya was ignorant of all these happenings ......... The marriage ritual got over and it was lunch time ...... Food was prepared for some 300 guest ....... buffet style ...... the caterer demanded ...... extra money ...... he said you paid me for 300 people and want me to serve me over 1000 ....... any way ...... i won't be able to prepare food for so many people at such a short notice .......

I .... pillai ..... bhandya's father ...... with the Caterer entered the dinning hall ...... there was a huge commotion ..... people were pushing and struggling with each other to get plates ...... and to get near the food counters ...... Bhandya's father requested Caterer for help ......... Caterer said first pay .... Some how bhandya's father and Aabha argued ..... negotiated ..... and paid Caterer for 100 more plates ...... espescially close relatives ......

In all this commotion bhandya in his wedding finery ..... was smiling ...... happily looking at the crowd fighting with each other ...... told pakya ...... Dekh sabka record break kiya na ..... and infact was heard telling some of the battered guests ..... Nakki .... jayhoon jaicha .......

Goli No: 23 ..... Banerjee gets even with bhandya ...

.........year 1999..........financial services office in fort Mumbai .......... market was bad ..... cash flows were tight ................ banerjee .......... dandapani ....... others were struggling to close deals ............ bhandya our office man ........ went to some tantric baba in mumbra ....... he gave him some stone rings ............. some mantars................... some pothis to read.................morning nine o clock bhandya would decorate the gods in our office with kunku ...... chandan ............. diyas........huge ghanta (temple bell).................. ignite two packets of agarbathis some hundreds of them ................... in a air conditioned ............ small office with no windows ...........



he would start his day with pooja and mantars .............aik satyanarayanachi katha cd............ loud and strong ............... clinging of bells ........... lighting of lamps ........... the smoke from the 100 agarbathis .............would enclose the entire room in a fog .............. and banerjee in tie and blazer would be sitting............with coffee and economic times .................... amidst the fog .......... mantras ............... bells ........ shlokas ............. with red eyes ........... not knowing whether......



.................he was sitting in a corporate finance office or a mythological movie set or lalbaug..............he would say benkat bhat is all this....???? ... bill i go to office in tiger skin instead of brazer.......carry trishul instead of laptop..........tie a snake around my neck instead of tie......like shibha ...... bhandya will correct him.......arrey go nahin come......brazier nahin blazer........shibha nahin re shiva ......... adhi english tar barobar bol lotha mangeshkar...... nantar mera chugli kar......... mya shaaph dilla tar.............. Melya ek bhi deal honaar nahin ............... banerjee would go weak on his legs .................... he would beg bhandya not to give shaaph ................. this used to be the routine.............




............. Meanwhile, bhandya also got into a major bhaandan with bhaiyaas family staying near our office .............. they used to distribute news papers and magazines around fort and kala ghoda area .......... and one of them Achey Lal used to sleep with a chaadar wrapped all over his body just outside our office .... like a dead body till late noon ............... bhandya never liked this and often got into panga with the Achey Lal .............



and one day as I entered the office in the morning I saw achey lals body totally wrapped in chaadar with kum kum ...... garland ....... few flowers on his body ........ agarbathis lit on a banana ..... i presumed that achey lal was dead............ i informed bhandya about the body.............. bhandya rushed out .............by now there was a mob collected around the body..................Achey lals wife brothers and friends had gathered...........the ladies started crying ...... bhandya offered his pooja flowers and garlands to his relatives to put it on the body............... i was surprised as all our office members participated in the mourning........... somebody was missing ...... banerjee stood at a distance ..... watching all this .......

suddenly as one of the relatives tried to put the garland ................the body moved..............Achey lal removed the bedsheet from his face ........... got up in a sitting posture ............. was shocked to see .............. so many people gathered around him and crying ................then he saw the garland.... flowers..... kum kum...... agarbattis.............

he screamed ......ee.. kaa ho raha hein ........ kono mar- mara gaya kaa....... ee kiski mati mari gayi ........... his mehraru(wife) screamed and fell unconscious.............his brother chhuttan shouted........ee kaa nautinki laga rakkha hai ............. eeh toh bhandya ki karamat hein ....... every bhaiyaa stared at bhandya..............before we could realise ...... they started hitting bhandya ......... with hands, fists and poles ...... some of them even kicked him ....... bhandya was overpowered that day ..... he didn't realise ....... how this happened to him .....

Some how banerjee rescued bhandya....... from the bhaiyya's ...... infact told them ......... you don't waste your energey ....... i will take care of him ....... Yeh aisa hi C##$ya hain.... laton ke bhoot baton se nahin mantey ........


he also tightly hugged bhandya and muttered something in his ears .......... don't worry I will take care ...... bhandya had no pariyay ........ meanwhile banerjee .............. took over bhandya from the crowd......... caught him by collar ...... abused b@$## ..... M*$#### ....... Ch%$# ......... slapped him loudly ....... kana khali ........ punched him on his nose ........ banged him against the wall ........ at the same time tightly hugged him and muttered in bhandya 's ears ....... don't worry i am rescueing you ..... Some how bhandya was confused whether banerjee was rescueing him or hitting him..................

After all the hitting and abuses ....... banerjee brought bhandya into the office ........ aur ek kana kali bhajaya ....... and then offered him some ice ..bandage and pain killers ........ and said ..... bhandya kaise bachaya ......... bhandya ' s face had by now turned black and blue ........ he muttered ........ B$$$%% ..bachaya ..... ya bajaya .... iskey badley ....... toh tyaanach maarney deta .......and then bhandya screamed arrey kaun melya ne mera haar aur agarbattiii acchey lal var pheka ta ..........

Everybody looked at banerjee ........ and banerjee smiled cunningly ........

Goli No 22.... P.K in potty

.....year 1999 i was running a.......financial services business .......... specializing in corporate finance ........ we needed a telephone land line (Pre mobile boom) ......... and because of some technical issues in documentation ..... we were not getting MTNL lines........bandyaa our office man did some jugaad with line man and got us a new land line connection ......... we still had not printed this new line No on our business cards ........... no outsider knew about this no ........ and the phone rang ............




Pillai picked up the line........ on the other end some body asked ......... can i speak to P.K ........... pillai was not sure what to say..........he muttered P.K sundaaz mein hein...........we were stunned ...... and then a roaring laughter ........ entire office was laughing ........... in five minutes the phone rang again asking for P.K ........ this time pillai said decently ...... he is in the bath room .......... the caller most probably said five minutes back also ........ pillai replied haan haan bahar aahaya tha phir se aandar gaya hai........pet thik nahin hain ............

every time the phone rang it used to be P.K hai.........my colleagues used to run to the phone and scream ........... P.K sundaaz mein........julaab ho raha hai........ sometimes in english ....... he is suffering from dysentery ...........based on who picked up the phone if it was bandyaaa........ it used to be crude hindi or marathi descriptions.......if it was pillai or banerjeee...... it used to be more refined in english.............one day pillai came with a new line...... he is got severe shoulder pain phone utha nahin sakta ........... he further explained ...... sabhere sein se doso bar andhar gaya hai.......... balthi utha utha kar ......khanda dukh raha hai.......... balm laga kar letha hai ............


every body used to laugh with these new lines.......one day dhanda pani came with this finance line when the phone rang.............. P.K bank gaya hai ............... deposit karne ko .............. cash flow accha hai........ baar baar jaa raha hai ......... P.K calls kept the office amused in a bad finance market ......... some of our managers removed their market frustrations ............ on P.K calls to the fullest.............

the callers used to be .......... dealers ....... vendors ......... bankers ............. media ........... P.K seemed to be some important person in some big company........ this number was his direct line ...........we never bothered to find out who he was.........our conversations was restricted to his sundaaz.........



........and one day the phone rang..............i picked it up and as usual muttered ......... P.K is in the loo...........the person at the other end ............said ba...*#@..... iam P.K.............the dysentery man of Mumbai .......... iam no more P.K ....... you people have given me a new name............. sundaaz wala ........potty man .............. told the whole world ......... that iam a leaking pot ....... he said every body from his employees.......dealers........vendors.......have been asking him about his stomach and motion problems ......... he briefly introduced himself.....

......... we had tarnished his image ............ and he is going to sue us......... unless ......... i banged the phone called bandyaa.........disconnected the jugaad line......... felt ashamed for having allowed this in our office ........ the whole office was silent now with guilt and fear....... till one day banerjee showed all of us a business magazine.........with P.K on its cover...........C.E.O of............

Goli No: 21 ..... Khandvi ... Dhokla .... aur fafda

............. Early 2009...............vadapav became political issue ............ lehman bros ............. ramlinga raju.... subiksha ................ international financial crisis ............. lots of confusion ........ business stress ..... my wifeys health got affected ................... admitted her in to hinduja hospital in critical condition ......... three days later wifey started recuperating ............. i saw a new patient getting admitted in the next room .............. accident case ....... was hit by a speeding bike .....

couldnt see his face.......... his face was totally bandaged ...........was on a wheel chair pushed by his wife............within a few minutes of his admission his wife savitha dressed in jeans and tees came to our room ....... introduced herself..............she was in early thirties with two young kids ......... her husband was into trading business...........they were gujjus from borivili............she said he was in critical condition but he his now out of danger.............

hinduja hospital gives only one visitors pass per patient........she wanted my pass for her visitors ................. but the hospital rules didn't permit this....................security was very strict .............. since, i couldnt say no ........ I gave her my pass........... within the next .........few hours i heard lots of noises from the corrider and neighbouring room .......... suddenly the security manager came to our room and asked for my pass...........i told him the truth and took him to the next room..............

we were shocked to see the sight ............. savitha ben's husbands face was totally covered with bandages except for .... nostrils ...... one swollen red eye and mouth...........with one hand in plaster ......one plastered leg tied up hanging ......... white hospital pyajamas and shirt ................ looked like a egyptian mummy............ he was sorrounded by ten to twelve visitors in the room ............... all smuggled illegally by savitha ben tru various visitors passes ......

......we sniffed the air it didnt smell hospital........it smelt like mulund farsan mart..........my nostrils were hit by the aroma of dhoklas ......... .... theplas ......... khandvis............. the security managers jaw dropped as he saw middle aged gujju bens with over grown mammary glands and grand never ending posteriors ..... munching khandvi ..... theplas ....... dhoklas ......... jalebis .......... fafdas....... sitting around the egyptian mummy .....as if they were on picnic to egypt ............. some men ran helter skelter .................. the security personnel confiscated their passes ........... we found my pass with a jignesh hiding in the staff bathroom in the corridor.................... the security person took us to the main security mgr complained about savitha ben and her gujju gang ................ took down their names ........... warned me and others not to lend our passes.................

as i came out of the hospital ........ after the commotion for fresh air............... i was looking at the beautifull sunset behind the bandra worli sea link just outside the hospital gate..................... my nose suddenly sniffed kakras and dhoklas ............... i saw a huge gujju gang in a toyota innova near the gate............ eating khakras ................. and my god it was savitha ben and her relatives ................. before i could escape savitha bens eyes fell on me ................ she screamed from the innova venky bhai sorry............... khakra khao.........sub bool jao...............

Goli No 20 ..... and Nagesh dies ......

..... Year 2002 ..... had gone to dombivili after a long time ...... to attend a friends engagement party along with wifey and daughter ...... Though i had been to dombivili on and off ....... however, i never got an opportunity to catch up with a few of my childhood friends......

..... by now I was a moderately successful corporate finance guy ...... with a house and a car ...... as we were comming out of the engagement party ..... with other friends ...... somebody shouted Venkyaa..... as i turned around ...... i saw my old friend rajesh ...... he had a grim look….. muttered ....... Nagyaa gela re ...... i didn't respond ........... couldn't comprehend ...... what he had just said .......

Rajesh continued ....... Nagyaa ne atma hatya kela ...... vihirith body millale ..... I still didn't respond ...... seeing no reaction ...... rajesh walked away ....... It took me some time for the words to sink in ........ i walked towards nagesh's house ....... like a dumb zombie ...... the whole world had come to a stand still ....... i was totally dazed ......

As i reached his bungalow ..... i saw a huge crowd ...... an ambulance standing outside the gate ...... and near the gate I saw a body wrapped in white …… I didn’t want to see Nagesh like this ….. he was my childhood hero ….. he couldn’t be a coward …… he was so courageous ….. bold ….. adventurous …. few of my childhood friends were standing there ...... they were discussing nagesh's suicide ........ someone commented he couldn't face life ...... I couldn't tolerate it ....... I was disturbed .....

I turned around and walked back …… picked up my family and drove back to Mumbai …….. That night i couldn't sleep …… I had several questions unanswered …. but one question stood out ....... Why did Nagesh commit suicide…… this was not possible …… for a courageous boy like him ….. I wondered whether in the rat race of life ...... i had forgotten all about my childhood friend and hero ...... I didn't even bother to find out ...... how his life was....... may be i could have .......

During the weekend ….. I some how gathered courage and went back to Dombivili ….. Checked out with a few friends …… one of them took me to the well …… where Nagesh’s body was found ….. it was the same old deserted well on the outskirts of Dombivili …… where we had spent many afternoons in our childhood ……. As my friend described ….. People had seen him sitting on the wall of the well ….. on that fateful day …… it seems he had consumed poison …… and then jumped into the well …… leaving a suicide note behind……

I asked my friend to leave me alone ….. I spent few hours sitting on the edge of the well ……. starring at the bottom of the well ..... Childhood memories of nagesh & me flashed in front of my eyes ......... I was choking with old memories ......... Days spent in baniyan and half chaddi on the mumbra mountains …… vasai bridge ….. diva khadi .,….. tamarind tree ….. under arm gachhi cricket ..... long drives on bhaadyacha cycle etc .......

I was still pondering …… Why did Nagesh kill himself …… What went wrong ....... Why did i drift away from him ..... Is the rat race important or friendships ..... May be he needed me more than my clients ....... I was filled with remorse and guilt .......

And then suddenly i remebered Nageshs words …… Chal, Venkyaa , bindass ....... kai hoth nai…

Goli No 19.... Nagesh's adventures continues....

........my adventures with nagesh continued till 1980........he had great fascination for mountains ........ sometimes he would take me to mumbra ....for hiking and trecking.....mumbra devi temple ......on the top of a dongar in mumbra ..........two stations away from dombivili ....... on central line in mumbai....... after three hrs of trecking and some rock climbing in monsoons ........ we would reach the top of the cliff ..............nagesh was shivaji maharaj...........and i was tanaji ......... as the summit would get conquered nagesh would post a kathi flag.......a stick with a chindi cloth....and shout jai bhavani.......i would support jai shivaji.........

from the top of the cliff we would see the twisted snake like creeks ....... mumbra - dombivili tracks with trains criss crossing .......like tiny ants...the wind blowing on our face.........and nagesh would go to the edge of the cliff......sit on the edge legs dangling ..........200 ft above ground level............i would shrug from going to the edge.......and nagesh would say........chal venkyaaa bindaas kai hoth nai.......

............nagesh had the same fascination for the sea.........one day he took me to diva khaadi.......a creek connected to arabian sea.........on the fringes of dombivili.........except for one or two fishing boats ............nagesh and me would get in to our undies and jump in to the shallow creek waters and try swimming.......

some fisher men warned us against the dangerous sinking sand......but nagesh would say .....venkyaaa chal bindaas ......kai hoth nai.............some times he would request the fisherman to take us into the sea...... and one day nagesh with a tyre around his back and a rope tied to the boat..... jumped into the sea........ with gay abandon....... and i could hear "Venkyaa Chal udi maar kai hoth nai".......

...... I had many more memorable adventurous moments with Nagesh..... like spending a night in a chinchach jhaad (tamrind tree) ...... waiting for ghosts to appear....... and getting inside a huge deserted well on the outskirts of dombivili........ this all continued till 1980's....... when we were still a tenant in his bungalow ....... and then we shifted residence ....... I got into a new friend circle ...... completed my college ...... moved to mumbai ....... got married ....... got into business ....... I forgot all about nagesh ..... till.......

Goli No 18... Nagesh and me ..... vasai cha pool..

........year 1975......dombivili.......a smalltown.......still a village on the fringes........ metamorphosing in to a town.............vasai-dombivili- railway bridge was under construction............90 % of work was completed........vasai was on western railway edge.........dombivili on central railway edge ...... this bridge connected western railway to central railway.......passing thru so many villages on the fringes of Mumbai around the creek.......

nagesh 12 yrs.....our land lords grandson.......... bold... courageous........ adventurous........my guru.......i was 10 then.........nagesh introduced me to vasai bridge........on the edge of diva creek.........25 ft above ground level ........ single line rail track........ goods train running on trial basis...... three times a day........ we would chase the slow moving goods train every evening and jump into the open wagons …….. la …. Sholay ishtyle……… and play jai …. Veeru in the moving goods train …………

There was a sweet spot........... Dangerous spot ..... a place where....... vasai-dombivili- railway line ..... crossed the thane dombivili central line railway track....... with four tracks of suburban both fast and slow trains running below...... the fifth track was for goods train....... Nagesh & I ..... one evening were sitting on the bridge above tracks ....... in banyan and half chaddis ...... legs dangling 25 feet above ground level...... looking at the trains criss-crossing below ........ counting bogeys …..

Suddenly we saw a goods train...... open wagons filled with 'waalloo' (sand)...... moving at snails pace on the fifth track ....... Nagesh looked at me with excitement ...... he shouted. "Dan ta…..dan..... Venkyaa, chal udhi maru yaa...... sholay sarka...... he shouted gabbar mein aaraha hoon .....meaning.... let us jump..... from 25 feet.... into the moving goods wagon below....... filled with sand....... before i could realise ....... he jumped filmy style ...... I could actually see him frame by frame going down .......

he landed on his hands and legs on the waalu (sand) in the goods train ....... slowly the train picked up speed ........ but i saw nagesh motionless...... lying on the waaloo..... I didn't knew what to do..... i was shell shocked ....... whether to jump ....... which was impossible for me ...... or to call for help ....... and then i saw ...... nagesh moving ...... in the wagon ...... he stood up and started waving his hands towards me ......

I climbed down the bridge and ran towards the track ....... behind the goods train ...... in a few moments ....... i saw nagesh limping on the tracks ...... but his face was radiating with success, joy and happiness ......... I gave him a shoulder ....... his shoulder and wrists were writhing in pain ..... but nagesh was still smiling ...... my hero had grown .... by a few inches in my heart ....... my respect for him increased .....

the next few days ...... i saw nagesh limping with a sprained leg and a fractured hand ..... asking me ....... to accompany him to vasai-dombivili bridge .......... I and nagesh spent many evenings ....... on the bridge ..... with the sun setting on the creek ....... and the trains passing below us ...... remembering the great leap ........