Friday, March 26, 2010

Goli No 20 ..... and Nagesh dies ......

..... Year 2002 ..... had gone to dombivili after a long time ...... to attend a friends engagement party along with wifey and daughter ...... Though i had been to dombivili on and off ....... however, i never got an opportunity to catch up with a few of my childhood friends......

..... by now I was a moderately successful corporate finance guy ...... with a house and a car ...... as we were comming out of the engagement party ..... with other friends ...... somebody shouted Venkyaa..... as i turned around ...... i saw my old friend rajesh ...... he had a grim look….. muttered ....... Nagyaa gela re ...... i didn't respond ........... couldn't comprehend ...... what he had just said .......

Rajesh continued ....... Nagyaa ne atma hatya kela ...... vihirith body millale ..... I still didn't respond ...... seeing no reaction ...... rajesh walked away ....... It took me some time for the words to sink in ........ i walked towards nagesh's house ....... like a dumb zombie ...... the whole world had come to a stand still ....... i was totally dazed ......

As i reached his bungalow ..... i saw a huge crowd ...... an ambulance standing outside the gate ...... and near the gate I saw a body wrapped in white …… I didn’t want to see Nagesh like this ….. he was my childhood hero ….. he couldn’t be a coward …… he was so courageous ….. bold ….. adventurous …. few of my childhood friends were standing there ...... they were discussing nagesh's suicide ........ someone commented he couldn't face life ...... I couldn't tolerate it ....... I was disturbed .....

I turned around and walked back …… picked up my family and drove back to Mumbai …….. That night i couldn't sleep …… I had several questions unanswered …. but one question stood out ....... Why did Nagesh commit suicide…… this was not possible …… for a courageous boy like him ….. I wondered whether in the rat race of life ...... i had forgotten all about my childhood friend and hero ...... I didn't even bother to find out ...... how his life was....... may be i could have .......

During the weekend ….. I some how gathered courage and went back to Dombivili ….. Checked out with a few friends …… one of them took me to the well …… where Nagesh’s body was found ….. it was the same old deserted well on the outskirts of Dombivili …… where we had spent many afternoons in our childhood ……. As my friend described ….. People had seen him sitting on the wall of the well ….. on that fateful day …… it seems he had consumed poison …… and then jumped into the well …… leaving a suicide note behind……

I asked my friend to leave me alone ….. I spent few hours sitting on the edge of the well ……. starring at the bottom of the well ..... Childhood memories of nagesh & me flashed in front of my eyes ......... I was choking with old memories ......... Days spent in baniyan and half chaddi on the mumbra mountains …… vasai bridge ….. diva khadi .,….. tamarind tree ….. under arm gachhi cricket ..... long drives on bhaadyacha cycle etc .......

I was still pondering …… Why did Nagesh kill himself …… What went wrong ....... Why did i drift away from him ..... Is the rat race important or friendships ..... May be he needed me more than my clients ....... I was filled with remorse and guilt .......

And then suddenly i remebered Nageshs words …… Chal, Venkyaa , bindass ....... kai hoth nai…

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