Goli No: 24...... Bhandya's marriage .......

Year 2000 ...... Bhandya announced that he is getting married...... Cards were getting printed ..... Bhandya lower middle class maharashtrian boy from lalbaug ...... 200 cards were being printed ... limited invitations..... suddenly pakya commented ....... Arrey... zindagi mein ek baar shadi hota hein ...... dil khol ke sab ko bula ..... Bhandya retorted..... that he wanted to invite the whole world ..... but for Baapu his father ......

Pillai commented...... Arrey aadmi hoja .... kitney din baap se darega .. Teri shaadi hein na .... Bhandya went out with pakya ...... and gave orders for some 3000 cards .... A huge list was drawn out ..... including every body from bhandya's childhood days ........ to all his train friends .... Bhandya had compartment friends ..... train friends ..... and also platform friends ..... Infact pillai suggested why don't you print a handbill .........

Bhandya and pakya negotiated hard with the printer ....... and got a loose handbill kind of invitation card ....... and the invites reached 5000 people .... I gave bhandya a months leave ..... bhandya would go from morning to evening ...... from parel to kasara....... churchgate to bhayander ...... and V.T to Panvel ...... and distributed the so called ...... invitation card ...... to any body he was remotely connected with .......


On the D-day ...... I with pillai .... dhandapani ...... banerjee and others from the office ...... reached the venue ...... the hall looked very small ....... Could hardly accomodate not more than 200 people ..... The wedding ritual was on ...... bhandya looked happy and cheerful ....... Bhandyas father looked tense ...... he was scanning the crowd ....... with every passing second the crowd seemed to swell ........

Pillai took me outside ....... I saw a huge crowd of more than a thousand people standing outside the gate...... on the ground..... outside the hall ...... also on the footpath..... Bhandya's father came out and was scanning the crowd on the ground ....... with suspiscion written all over his face ....... his eyebrows narrowed and with a wet forehead ....... he asked pillai ..... yeh log kaun hein ..... Pillai muttered ..... Tumhara shaadi ka mehman ...... Bhandyas fathered screamed with anger .... aaila ...... amhi tar phakta don shey lokana bulaya ....... pillai muttered.... May be mulgi kadche......

Bhandya's father called bride's father........ Aabha..... ha kai gondhal ahey ....... ha tumcha gondhal nahin na ....... Aabha looked at the crowd ........ hey kay lagna chey pahuney ........ Pillai muttered naheen ........ RTO chi gardi ahey ...... Bhandyas father and Aabha realised gravity of the situation took up strategic possitions on both sides of the entrance and closed the collapsable gates ....... Seing the gate being closed ..... the crowd surged towards the entrance ..... and barged in .....

Bhandyas father and Aabha started quarelling over who invited so many guests ...... And the culprit bhandya was ignorant of all these happenings ......... The marriage ritual got over and it was lunch time ...... Food was prepared for some 300 guest ....... buffet style ...... the caterer demanded ...... extra money ...... he said you paid me for 300 people and want me to serve me over 1000 ....... any way ...... i won't be able to prepare food for so many people at such a short notice .......

I .... pillai ..... bhandya's father ...... with the Caterer entered the dinning hall ...... there was a huge commotion ..... people were pushing and struggling with each other to get plates ...... and to get near the food counters ...... Bhandya's father requested Caterer for help ......... Caterer said first pay .... Some how bhandya's father and Aabha argued ..... negotiated ..... and paid Caterer for 100 more plates ...... espescially close relatives ......

In all this commotion bhandya in his wedding finery ..... was smiling ...... happily looking at the crowd fighting with each other ...... told pakya ...... Dekh sabka record break kiya na ..... and infact was heard telling some of the battered guests ..... Nakki .... jayhoon jaicha .......

Goli No: 23 ..... Banerjee gets even with bhandya ...

.........year 1999..........financial services office in fort Mumbai .......... market was bad ..... cash flows were tight ................ banerjee .......... dandapani ....... others were struggling to close deals ............ bhandya our office man ........ went to some tantric baba in mumbra ....... he gave him some stone rings ............. some mantars................... some pothis to read.................morning nine o clock bhandya would decorate the gods in our office with kunku ...... chandan ............. diyas........huge ghanta (temple bell).................. ignite two packets of agarbathis some hundreds of them ................... in a air conditioned ............ small office with no windows ...........



he would start his day with pooja and mantars .............aik satyanarayanachi katha cd............ loud and strong ............... clinging of bells ........... lighting of lamps ........... the smoke from the 100 agarbathis .............would enclose the entire room in a fog .............. and banerjee in tie and blazer would be sitting............with coffee and economic times .................... amidst the fog .......... mantras ............... bells ........ shlokas ............. with red eyes ........... not knowing whether......



.................he was sitting in a corporate finance office or a mythological movie set or lalbaug..............he would say benkat bhat is all this....???? ... bill i go to office in tiger skin instead of brazer.......carry trishul instead of laptop..........tie a snake around my neck instead of tie......like shibha ...... bhandya will correct him.......arrey go nahin come......brazier nahin blazer........shibha nahin re shiva ......... adhi english tar barobar bol lotha mangeshkar...... nantar mera chugli kar......... mya shaaph dilla tar.............. Melya ek bhi deal honaar nahin ............... banerjee would go weak on his legs .................... he would beg bhandya not to give shaaph ................. this used to be the routine.............




............. Meanwhile, bhandya also got into a major bhaandan with bhaiyaas family staying near our office .............. they used to distribute news papers and magazines around fort and kala ghoda area .......... and one of them Achey Lal used to sleep with a chaadar wrapped all over his body just outside our office .... like a dead body till late noon ............... bhandya never liked this and often got into panga with the Achey Lal .............



and one day as I entered the office in the morning I saw achey lals body totally wrapped in chaadar with kum kum ...... garland ....... few flowers on his body ........ agarbathis lit on a banana ..... i presumed that achey lal was dead............ i informed bhandya about the body.............. bhandya rushed out .............by now there was a mob collected around the body..................Achey lals wife brothers and friends had gathered...........the ladies started crying ...... bhandya offered his pooja flowers and garlands to his relatives to put it on the body............... i was surprised as all our office members participated in the mourning........... somebody was missing ...... banerjee stood at a distance ..... watching all this .......

suddenly as one of the relatives tried to put the garland ................the body moved..............Achey lal removed the bedsheet from his face ........... got up in a sitting posture ............. was shocked to see .............. so many people gathered around him and crying ................then he saw the garland.... flowers..... kum kum...... agarbattis.............

he screamed ......ee.. kaa ho raha hein ........ kono mar- mara gaya kaa....... ee kiski mati mari gayi ........... his mehraru(wife) screamed and fell unconscious.............his brother chhuttan shouted........ee kaa nautinki laga rakkha hai ............. eeh toh bhandya ki karamat hein ....... every bhaiyaa stared at bhandya..............before we could realise ...... they started hitting bhandya ......... with hands, fists and poles ...... some of them even kicked him ....... bhandya was overpowered that day ..... he didn't realise ....... how this happened to him .....

Some how banerjee rescued bhandya....... from the bhaiyya's ...... infact told them ......... you don't waste your energey ....... i will take care of him ....... Yeh aisa hi C##$ya hain.... laton ke bhoot baton se nahin mantey ........


he also tightly hugged bhandya and muttered something in his ears .......... don't worry I will take care ...... bhandya had no pariyay ........ meanwhile banerjee .............. took over bhandya from the crowd......... caught him by collar ...... abused b@$## ..... M*$#### ....... Ch%$# ......... slapped him loudly ....... kana khali ........ punched him on his nose ........ banged him against the wall ........ at the same time tightly hugged him and muttered in bhandya 's ears ....... don't worry i am rescueing you ..... Some how bhandya was confused whether banerjee was rescueing him or hitting him..................

After all the hitting and abuses ....... banerjee brought bhandya into the office ........ aur ek kana kali bhajaya ....... and then offered him some ice ..bandage and pain killers ........ and said ..... bhandya kaise bachaya ......... bhandya ' s face had by now turned black and blue ........ he muttered ........ B$$$%% ..bachaya ..... ya bajaya .... iskey badley ....... toh tyaanach maarney deta .......and then bhandya screamed arrey kaun melya ne mera haar aur agarbattiii acchey lal var pheka ta ..........

Everybody looked at banerjee ........ and banerjee smiled cunningly ........

Goli No 22.... P.K in potty

.....year 1999 i was running a.......financial services business .......... specializing in corporate finance ........ we needed a telephone land line (Pre mobile boom) ......... and because of some technical issues in documentation ..... we were not getting MTNL lines........bandyaa our office man did some jugaad with line man and got us a new land line connection ......... we still had not printed this new line No on our business cards ........... no outsider knew about this no ........ and the phone rang ............




Pillai picked up the line........ on the other end some body asked ......... can i speak to P.K ........... pillai was not sure what to say..........he muttered P.K sundaaz mein hein...........we were stunned ...... and then a roaring laughter ........ entire office was laughing ........... in five minutes the phone rang again asking for P.K ........ this time pillai said decently ...... he is in the bath room .......... the caller most probably said five minutes back also ........ pillai replied haan haan bahar aahaya tha phir se aandar gaya hai........pet thik nahin hain ............

every time the phone rang it used to be P.K hai.........my colleagues used to run to the phone and scream ........... P.K sundaaz mein........julaab ho raha hai........ sometimes in english ....... he is suffering from dysentery ...........based on who picked up the phone if it was bandyaaa........ it used to be crude hindi or marathi descriptions.......if it was pillai or banerjeee...... it used to be more refined in english.............one day pillai came with a new line...... he is got severe shoulder pain phone utha nahin sakta ........... he further explained ...... sabhere sein se doso bar andhar gaya hai.......... balthi utha utha kar ......khanda dukh raha hai.......... balm laga kar letha hai ............


every body used to laugh with these new lines.......one day dhanda pani came with this finance line when the phone rang.............. P.K bank gaya hai ............... deposit karne ko .............. cash flow accha hai........ baar baar jaa raha hai ......... P.K calls kept the office amused in a bad finance market ......... some of our managers removed their market frustrations ............ on P.K calls to the fullest.............

the callers used to be .......... dealers ....... vendors ......... bankers ............. media ........... P.K seemed to be some important person in some big company........ this number was his direct line ...........we never bothered to find out who he was.........our conversations was restricted to his sundaaz.........



........and one day the phone rang..............i picked it up and as usual muttered ......... P.K is in the loo...........the person at the other end ............said ba...*#@..... iam P.K.............the dysentery man of Mumbai .......... iam no more P.K ....... you people have given me a new name............. sundaaz wala ........potty man .............. told the whole world ......... that iam a leaking pot ....... he said every body from his employees.......dealers........vendors.......have been asking him about his stomach and motion problems ......... he briefly introduced himself.....

......... we had tarnished his image ............ and he is going to sue us......... unless ......... i banged the phone called bandyaa.........disconnected the jugaad line......... felt ashamed for having allowed this in our office ........ the whole office was silent now with guilt and fear....... till one day banerjee showed all of us a business magazine.........with P.K on its cover...........C.E.O of............

Goli No: 21 ..... Khandvi ... Dhokla .... aur fafda

............. Early 2009...............vadapav became political issue ............ lehman bros ............. ramlinga raju.... subiksha ................ international financial crisis ............. lots of confusion ........ business stress ..... my wifeys health got affected ................... admitted her in to hinduja hospital in critical condition ......... three days later wifey started recuperating ............. i saw a new patient getting admitted in the next room .............. accident case ....... was hit by a speeding bike .....

couldnt see his face.......... his face was totally bandaged ...........was on a wheel chair pushed by his wife............within a few minutes of his admission his wife savitha dressed in jeans and tees came to our room ....... introduced herself..............she was in early thirties with two young kids ......... her husband was into trading business...........they were gujjus from borivili............she said he was in critical condition but he his now out of danger.............

hinduja hospital gives only one visitors pass per patient........she wanted my pass for her visitors ................. but the hospital rules didn't permit this....................security was very strict .............. since, i couldnt say no ........ I gave her my pass........... within the next .........few hours i heard lots of noises from the corrider and neighbouring room .......... suddenly the security manager came to our room and asked for my pass...........i told him the truth and took him to the next room..............

we were shocked to see the sight ............. savitha ben's husbands face was totally covered with bandages except for .... nostrils ...... one swollen red eye and mouth...........with one hand in plaster ......one plastered leg tied up hanging ......... white hospital pyajamas and shirt ................ looked like a egyptian mummy............ he was sorrounded by ten to twelve visitors in the room ............... all smuggled illegally by savitha ben tru various visitors passes ......

......we sniffed the air it didnt smell hospital........it smelt like mulund farsan mart..........my nostrils were hit by the aroma of dhoklas ......... .... theplas ......... khandvis............. the security managers jaw dropped as he saw middle aged gujju bens with over grown mammary glands and grand never ending posteriors ..... munching khandvi ..... theplas ....... dhoklas ......... jalebis .......... fafdas....... sitting around the egyptian mummy .....as if they were on picnic to egypt ............. some men ran helter skelter .................. the security personnel confiscated their passes ........... we found my pass with a jignesh hiding in the staff bathroom in the corridor.................... the security person took us to the main security mgr complained about savitha ben and her gujju gang ................ took down their names ........... warned me and others not to lend our passes.................

as i came out of the hospital ........ after the commotion for fresh air............... i was looking at the beautifull sunset behind the bandra worli sea link just outside the hospital gate..................... my nose suddenly sniffed kakras and dhoklas ............... i saw a huge gujju gang in a toyota innova near the gate............ eating khakras ................. and my god it was savitha ben and her relatives ................. before i could escape savitha bens eyes fell on me ................ she screamed from the innova venky bhai sorry............... khakra khao.........sub bool jao...............

Goli No 20 ..... and Nagesh dies ......

..... Year 2002 ..... had gone to dombivili after a long time ...... to attend a friends engagement party along with wifey and daughter ...... Though i had been to dombivili on and off ....... however, i never got an opportunity to catch up with a few of my childhood friends......

..... by now I was a moderately successful corporate finance guy ...... with a house and a car ...... as we were comming out of the engagement party ..... with other friends ...... somebody shouted Venkyaa..... as i turned around ...... i saw my old friend rajesh ...... he had a grim look….. muttered ....... Nagyaa gela re ...... i didn't respond ........... couldn't comprehend ...... what he had just said .......

Rajesh continued ....... Nagyaa ne atma hatya kela ...... vihirith body millale ..... I still didn't respond ...... seeing no reaction ...... rajesh walked away ....... It took me some time for the words to sink in ........ i walked towards nagesh's house ....... like a dumb zombie ...... the whole world had come to a stand still ....... i was totally dazed ......

As i reached his bungalow ..... i saw a huge crowd ...... an ambulance standing outside the gate ...... and near the gate I saw a body wrapped in white …… I didn’t want to see Nagesh like this ….. he was my childhood hero ….. he couldn’t be a coward …… he was so courageous ….. bold ….. adventurous …. few of my childhood friends were standing there ...... they were discussing nagesh's suicide ........ someone commented he couldn't face life ...... I couldn't tolerate it ....... I was disturbed .....

I turned around and walked back …… picked up my family and drove back to Mumbai …….. That night i couldn't sleep …… I had several questions unanswered …. but one question stood out ....... Why did Nagesh commit suicide…… this was not possible …… for a courageous boy like him ….. I wondered whether in the rat race of life ...... i had forgotten all about my childhood friend and hero ...... I didn't even bother to find out ...... how his life was....... may be i could have .......

During the weekend ….. I some how gathered courage and went back to Dombivili ….. Checked out with a few friends …… one of them took me to the well …… where Nagesh’s body was found ….. it was the same old deserted well on the outskirts of Dombivili …… where we had spent many afternoons in our childhood ……. As my friend described ….. People had seen him sitting on the wall of the well ….. on that fateful day …… it seems he had consumed poison …… and then jumped into the well …… leaving a suicide note behind……

I asked my friend to leave me alone ….. I spent few hours sitting on the edge of the well ……. starring at the bottom of the well ..... Childhood memories of nagesh & me flashed in front of my eyes ......... I was choking with old memories ......... Days spent in baniyan and half chaddi on the mumbra mountains …… vasai bridge ….. diva khadi .,….. tamarind tree ….. under arm gachhi cricket ..... long drives on bhaadyacha cycle etc .......

I was still pondering …… Why did Nagesh kill himself …… What went wrong ....... Why did i drift away from him ..... Is the rat race important or friendships ..... May be he needed me more than my clients ....... I was filled with remorse and guilt .......

And then suddenly i remebered Nageshs words …… Chal, Venkyaa , bindass ....... kai hoth nai…

Goli No 19.... Nagesh's adventures continues....

........my adventures with nagesh continued till 1980........he had great fascination for mountains ........ sometimes he would take me to mumbra ....for hiking and trecking.....mumbra devi temple ......on the top of a dongar in mumbra ..........two stations away from dombivili ....... on central line in mumbai....... after three hrs of trecking and some rock climbing in monsoons ........ we would reach the top of the cliff ..............nagesh was shivaji maharaj...........and i was tanaji ......... as the summit would get conquered nagesh would post a kathi flag.......a stick with a chindi cloth....and shout jai bhavani.......i would support jai shivaji.........

from the top of the cliff we would see the twisted snake like creeks ....... mumbra - dombivili tracks with trains criss crossing .......like tiny ants...the wind blowing on our face.........and nagesh would go to the edge of the cliff......sit on the edge legs dangling ..........200 ft above ground level............i would shrug from going to the edge.......and nagesh would say........chal venkyaaa bindaas kai hoth nai.......

............nagesh had the same fascination for the sea.........one day he took me to diva khaadi.......a creek connected to arabian sea.........on the fringes of dombivili.........except for one or two fishing boats ............nagesh and me would get in to our undies and jump in to the shallow creek waters and try swimming.......

some fisher men warned us against the dangerous sinking sand......but nagesh would say .....venkyaaa chal bindaas ......kai hoth nai.............some times he would request the fisherman to take us into the sea...... and one day nagesh with a tyre around his back and a rope tied to the boat..... jumped into the sea........ with gay abandon....... and i could hear "Venkyaa Chal udi maar kai hoth nai".......

...... I had many more memorable adventurous moments with Nagesh..... like spending a night in a chinchach jhaad (tamrind tree) ...... waiting for ghosts to appear....... and getting inside a huge deserted well on the outskirts of dombivili........ this all continued till 1980's....... when we were still a tenant in his bungalow ....... and then we shifted residence ....... I got into a new friend circle ...... completed my college ...... moved to mumbai ....... got married ....... got into business ....... I forgot all about nagesh ..... till.......

Goli No 18... Nagesh and me ..... vasai cha pool..

........year 1975......dombivili.......a smalltown.......still a village on the fringes........ metamorphosing in to a town.............vasai-dombivili- railway bridge was under construction............90 % of work was completed........vasai was on western railway edge.........dombivili on central railway edge ...... this bridge connected western railway to central railway.......passing thru so many villages on the fringes of Mumbai around the creek.......

nagesh 12 yrs.....our land lords grandson.......... bold... courageous........ adventurous........my guru.......i was 10 then.........nagesh introduced me to vasai bridge........on the edge of diva creek.........25 ft above ground level ........ single line rail track........ goods train running on trial basis...... three times a day........ we would chase the slow moving goods train every evening and jump into the open wagons …….. la …. Sholay ishtyle……… and play jai …. Veeru in the moving goods train …………

There was a sweet spot........... Dangerous spot ..... a place where....... vasai-dombivili- railway line ..... crossed the thane dombivili central line railway track....... with four tracks of suburban both fast and slow trains running below...... the fifth track was for goods train....... Nagesh & I ..... one evening were sitting on the bridge above tracks ....... in banyan and half chaddis ...... legs dangling 25 feet above ground level...... looking at the trains criss-crossing below ........ counting bogeys …..

Suddenly we saw a goods train...... open wagons filled with 'waalloo' (sand)...... moving at snails pace on the fifth track ....... Nagesh looked at me with excitement ...... he shouted. "Dan ta…..dan..... Venkyaa, chal udhi maru yaa...... sholay sarka...... he shouted gabbar mein aaraha hoon .....meaning.... let us jump..... from 25 feet.... into the moving goods wagon below....... filled with sand....... before i could realise ....... he jumped filmy style ...... I could actually see him frame by frame going down .......

he landed on his hands and legs on the waalu (sand) in the goods train ....... slowly the train picked up speed ........ but i saw nagesh motionless...... lying on the waaloo..... I didn't knew what to do..... i was shell shocked ....... whether to jump ....... which was impossible for me ...... or to call for help ....... and then i saw ...... nagesh moving ...... in the wagon ...... he stood up and started waving his hands towards me ......

I climbed down the bridge and ran towards the track ....... behind the goods train ...... in a few moments ....... i saw nagesh limping on the tracks ...... but his face was radiating with success, joy and happiness ......... I gave him a shoulder ....... his shoulder and wrists were writhing in pain ..... but nagesh was still smiling ...... my hero had grown .... by a few inches in my heart ....... my respect for him increased .....

the next few days ...... i saw nagesh limping with a sprained leg and a fractured hand ..... asking me ....... to accompany him to vasai-dombivili bridge .......... I and nagesh spent many evenings ....... on the bridge ..... with the sun setting on the creek ....... and the trains passing below us ...... remembering the great leap ........

Goli No 17...... Nagesh and me...... Happy Diwali

I was a Seven Year old………………..staying in Dombivali……………. In 1973 Dombivali was a sleepy little town…………far away from Maddening crowds of Big Mumbai ………..A Small Suburb………….lots of trees………..old wells………….ponds……….a small village……….. trying to metamorphosing into …………. big town

…………..ours was a ground plus one Bungalow…………….landlords were a Big Maharashtrian joint family staying on 1st Floor ………. We Tenants resided on the ground floor ………… lots of Trees Ashoka …. Coconut ……….. Jamun …….. Peru …………SitaPhal …………. Mango……… etc …. and lots of colorful Flower Plants… All colour Roses………. Gulmohur………… shoe flower……Hibiscus…….. Jasmine…... Mogra…… A tiny Tulsi at the Entrance………

Nagesh was the landlord’s grandson………a year older than me……fair ………. Brown Hair …….. sharp features ………. Resembled Junior Gavaskar ………. he was Bold …… courageous and adventurous ………. he was the guru ………and I was his chela …… whole day I would ball for him under arm and he would bat………

My father was very strict……….and had a good temper………I was always afraid of him…….. once during diwali………on the first day………Nagesh asked me to spend the night in his terrace………so that we could get up early and start Diwali fireworks ………… reluctantly though my mother agreed………without informing my father

………Around 12 in the night Nagesh and I sneaked in to the neighboring Gogte Kaka’s ………. Bungalow……. a hot tempered……..… Six feet plus……… Scowl faced……. Mean eyes………. ever ready to scream at Kids…….. and always wearing……White Banyan………. Pajamas………. Nagesh's family had a bhaandan with him just two months back……and we wanted to get even………

We carried some Sutli bombs……Nagesh would light the Sutli bombs………threw into Gogte's Balcony………….and we would hide in the bushes outside the gate………. Gogte Kaka …………. came out after the Second Bomb exploded ………… screamed Kon ………. ahey ……… *@## $##@……… Samor yaa………. I was shivering in the Bushes…………lots of Mosquito’s were biting …………… But I didn’t move …………. Nagesh was smiling

……After “Gogte Kaka” went inside……….Nagesh and I slipped into his Backyard……This time we threw the Bomb………through his Kitchen window…………and ran out…………climbed a tree in his compound and waited……….”Gogte Kaka” was Mad……….He came with a Torch…….this time his wife and kids along with him ……….. He went into the Bushes ……….. near his kitchen ………..

I was trembling with fear……… Nagesh lit a Bomb and threw on his terrace ………..Gogte Kaka rushed to the terrace screaming & shouting @##$...... followed by his wife ……… I froze ……….. couldn’t move out of fear ………… Nagesh was Gutsy ………… This time he carried a ladi in his hand ……… lit it and left it on his front door ………………… and ran out thru the main gate ………… I got down fast and followed him ...... we hid in the bushes outside his gate .......

Suddenly somebody grabbed my shoulders…………..and then Nagesh’s Neck ………. He was a strong man in khakhi uniforms ………… he was a havaldar on night patrole ......…… I was terrified ………trembling with fear …… It was like a lion who had a goat by the neck…….…He took us to down the road ……… 5 minutes of walking ....... I trembled ........ after we entered the police station......... They asked us about our parents ....... I knew what will hapen to me....... if my father came to know about me being in a police station.......

I started crying ...... Nagesh didn't drop a shed of tear ...... The havaldar .... threatened that he will put us in a lock-up ...... we saw some drunkards ...... and gaudily dressed females ........ I even saw the lock-up room ....... I had visions of me and Nagesh behind bars........ in a filmy style....... the inespector asked me and nagesh to do.......... hundred Uthak baithak's ....... by the time the clock struck Four Gongs of Ding Dong …………. Ding Dong

I knew my father will get up ....... Nagesh and me appologised ........... after hundred baithaks ....... the havaldar saw me trembling ......... sympathised and let us go ............. I and Nagesh ran straight home..........

I reached home…..Mother had meanwhile got up………..was puting rangoli ………… I took …………. oil Bath…………Got into new Dress ………… lit some crackers with my Dad and Sister’s………………went to the Temple……..on our way back ………with some Diwali faral ……. we visited our neighbours………….

I was reluctant ……….. But amma insisted ……………as I went in and sat Gogte Kaka wished every body Happy Diwali ………….. and offered Diwali Faral…………….to every body…………..I didn’t touch it …………. My Mother asked me to take ……….. my favourite Karanji ………. Gogte Kaka smiled at me and said…………happy Diwali………. with a twinkle in his eyes..... I thought may be ....... he knew........ about the crackers..........

Diwali ended....... but the next few nights I sweated with fear ……… that will the havaldar come home and expose me to my father ………….. though it never happened ……. even now after thirty five years...... as I hear the diwali crackers bursting ………some where in my subconscious mind ………. I can still see very clearly Nagesh and me at the police station ....... doing our Uthak Bhaithaks...............

I saw many more Diwali's ....... but this Diwali night ........ in Dombivili police station is the most memorable......... Diwali ..........

Goli No 16.... Mumbai to Goa …… thodhasa time pass……..

Year 1999……our Annual Plan Meet…. A.P.M………Business reviews………Goal Setting……… Trip to Goa ………The Main Agenda used to be…… Fun…… Food….. Feni..………The entire team was Foodie……………… Lots of food…… time Pass…..some work……We got into a Luxury Bus from Mumbai…… for Goa………at night 8pm…….. me……menon…… dandapani……banerjee…… and bandya…….

Dress code for A.P.M was declared…...Blazer’s …… tie…….. only banerjee turned up in blazer’s…………. rest of us turned up in shorts…. Tee’s……… and jeans…….Banerjee muttered ……………I look stupid with Blazers and tie..……in a bus…………He assumed ………….. we would arrange a car

By 10 clock our Goli started…….. we got divided into teams………Me ……. Bandya…… on one side and Menon……Dandapani on the other ..….Banerjee neutral…….not knowing Bhaat Bill happen……….

……Bandya started in Marathi……………with the conductor……. Me in tamil……..conductor reminded me to talk in………..Marathi……..as he didn’t understand Tamil………..I continued…….video poddu……..Rajni.......He said ‘Hee Goa Bus haay ……Madras naahi’……..He put ………Shahrukh Khan’s………… dilwale dulhaniya… movie…... By 11 clock……….. everybody was engrossed in the movie….... Dandapani………….. went and switched off the T.V………he said loudly…… He wanted to sleep………….Bandya got up shouted…………at the conductor …… TV lav……paisey vasool karnar…………

I garnered support for T.V watching…………few passengers shouted……. Aila… T.V laava………the T.V was put on ……………..Menon meanwhile garnered support………shouted……………who all want to sleep………….A new mob gathered and shouted……….. T.V bandha kara….. zophaychay ………..Conductor meanwhile smelled problem………situation going out of control………..He was confused……….Bandya stood up screamed……….. T.V la haat lavala…. ki haath todnar……….”

Huge commotion……. everybody started shouting ……….. fist cuffs were being exchanged……… Bandya exchanged blows with a few…….. I settled down….…mission accomplished…………. banerjee was very angry………he murmured to me…………you are the Boss…………control your Team……. bhat bill my bife………. think about our company……behaving like …..stupid……… infact…………as he stood up……….somebody pulled his tie………and kicked him on his back side……… banerjee was very angry…………he warned me he will quit …

In the meantime……… Dandapani……..had finished his quota of a quarter cleverly camouflaged in coke bottle…… He was totally tunn….. drunk…… removed his T-Shirt……… and was in his designer chappan…..tikli baniyan and shorts………started doing his nagin dance ……………..in the bus………….Dandapani pee key tight…..

Conductor whistled…………… bus came to halt………. driver announced unless………….people stop fighting ………. and settle down ………. bus won’t move……….. Went to the conductor………spoke in tamil……………enna aachi….. enna ragalla………. Enquired……. Enga rajni…….. Conductor was wild ….. yevda …. Gondhal……. Yevda Tyention…… ani …… madrashiyala rajni pahijey……


People settled down asked ………asked driver and conductor to start…………..It was decided no T.V ……………we all settled ……………. But dandapani was missing………… As the bus was about to start……….. we heard noises coming from the roof of the bus ………conductor got down….…….saw dandapani…………….sitting on top of the bus …………….. shouted “ array melya….. khalti yeh…..Dandapani wanted more respect……….conductor shouted ………………. Array kutriya….. khalti yeh…… Dandapani liked the respect offered to him……..came down after a few more coke shots…………..

It was 2am...….. Lost a lot of time ……… As the conductor………whistled in the dark…………..I smiled at the conductor ……….and checked with him in Marathi……….. Kai Kasa Kai ………….he asked…… hey sagalla kashala……..I replied….. Thodasa…….Time Pass……………

Goli No 15.. gucci..... armani .....and...thaiir satham

Wifey said...... Periappa has called from chennai...... coming to Mumbai for a weeks stay....... Periappa..... 74 years.......... worked in state government undertaking......... rose from the ranks..........worked hard and struggled …………

Stayed in T nagar...... Chennai all his life...... in a simple rented house........ Got his daughter married........ Put his son through good education..... Xlri Jamshedpur.......... son well settled in Kuala Lumpur......... Great multinational bank job......... traveling all over the world........ Periappa stays 9 months in kuala lumpur and the rest in chennai........

Periappa called up........ as soon as he reached Mumbai......... asked me...... when am I reaching home........ bring black label......... Johnny walker.......... being a tee-toller my self...... a bondu madrasi ........ignorant about daaru -shaaru.......... searched for a wine shop in our locality........... spoke in hushed tones........ like a teenager asking for condoms in a chemist shop........... the shop keeper also responded in the same tone........ I ddidnt knew what to say ....mumbled "yahan daru milega.......... he replied in a sarcastic manner......... "Nahin hum andey aur bread bechtay hein"............

I corrected....... my stance..... Johnny walker...... black label........ his respect for me increased........ He appologised....... Mein mazak kar raha tha saheb........ Since, he didn't have black label....... i settled for the next best....... that he recommended......... "Black Dog".............. remembered shahenshaw.......amris puri......meenakshi seshadri.......

Reached home......... by 7 in the evening......... saw Periappa on the computer with my 12 year old daughter........ googling ..........for latest Tamil hit film ............ Tavams song........... Kannadasa...... kanadasa......... Periappa also introduced me to his girlfriends....... on the net.......... bhavana........ and sneha.......... heartthrobs of Tamil films........ he said....... don't tell kaivi.... (his wife)........ she is jealous of my girlfriends......... he then downloaded kannadasa kannadasa song in his latest apple ipod...............

He also showed my daughter......... streets in Chennai........ and his building in Chennai........ over Google earth.......... went to T.nagar area.........anna nagar...... sarvanna stores........ spencers plaza........poes garden.......... and to his complex...........

I offered him black dog....... with soda..... in our steel tumbler........ since, we didn't have whisky glasses.......... Periappa muttered....... Kaapiya....... whiskyya........ my daughter murmured......... vada pav wallah......... he was amused....... my daughter was very impressed by periappa's style...........

She showed me periappa’s.......... Nokia E-76........ Latest apple ipod........ Citizen Ecodrive watch............... Lacoste deo........ Tere D' Hermes perfume........ Tea Rose........ Eaude Cologne..... Yardley brilliantine........ for hair..............Three beauties English county roses...... talcum powder........... belt Mont blanc............... Ray ban sunglass..................

I saw....... a seventy plus year old...... with a zest for life........... Aspirations........ Brands........ Lifestyle.......... fashion.......... and consumption............ his wife talked about savings.......... he said..... Consumption is economic growth......... I thought Kishore Biyani will like him.........rename big bazaar in chennai as periyah bazaar ......he talked about .......... monteblanc......... tag heur........ mango........... Gucci.......... Armani........... etc.....Daughter declared gucci periappa... ..

................and then Looked at my .... ...... chappan tikli (56 holes) banyan ........veshti ........ murmured style matters.... she declared to Periappa ........... Appa will take all of us for dinner.......... I said....... my regular udupi joint.....................


Daughter said nothing doing.......... no udupi's........... she talked about.... pizza hut....... Italian food...... Thai joints........ fine dining......all style......... she thought Periappa would support........ but Periappa shrugged......... his face shrunk.......... his wife-periamma laughed........... she said........ your Periappa........ is a big brand man........... international style.......... fashion icon but.......... ask him to eat........pizza.......burgers.......chinese etc ..........periappa sulked......some excuses ............periamma..........set the dining table.......as we sat for dinner......

My daughter was disappointed......... as she saw Gucci...............eating................thaiir sattam......